I think that one thing that people seek is understanding: understanding of how and why they have got to where they are.

One thing that we got wrong was losing our identity as a couple when we had children.  I thought we were doing the right thing in putting the children at the centre of our world, and of course to a certain extent we were.  However, in doing so, we neglected to give any priority to ourselves as a couple; we made sacrifices with the best of intentions.  I now see that this was a mistake.

Now that the children are more independent, I thought we would pick up where we left off as a couple and start doing all the things we hadn’t been able to do.  Husband, on the other hand, seems to have become quite comfortable with our new existence and doesn’t see any need to change things.

Consequently, unbeknown to each other, we had been heading off on different paths and now we are staring incredulously across the canyon that divides us, both wondering how the other person has ended up on the other side and having no idea how to bridge the gap.

This is one possible explanation for our current situation.